So, as MANY of you know, this last year I have somehow turned into someone who has been nothing but surrounded by drama. In that I have learned something, it is NOT for me! Now, talking about the scene in the news, Hollywood, etc. – to me, that’s something entirely different than the shit that I have been a part of. I have been part of something that started out innocently enough. We would take jabs back and forth and for a while. It was harmless fun for everyone involved. People watched, people took sides, people cheered. It was pretty funny, even to those involved. We all saw it as just something to do that passed the time, and we all did our best to entertain one another.
That is until fans started taking things more personal than the creators did. The fans didn’t understand that we creators – although we didn’t like each other – never wished harm on anyone. But many of the fans weren’t satisfied with just a little humor. Many would go back and forth, listening to both sides. They took it very personally as if their best friend had been slighted. Many felt that we, as creators, just weren’t doing enough to defend ourselves. They took matters into their own hands.
When this happened, MANY people started getting doxed. Many YouTubers involved also felt that the fans were encouraged or pushed by that creator. Some creators (I believe) did, and some didn’t. When a few of the fans on one side felt their personal lives were being exposed, they started working with other fans and making alliances with creators. Because let’s face it, there’s safety in numbers! However, instead of causing people to back down, MANY took it as a challenge. They understood it as that person was preparing a war against them. I will admit, sadly, I was one of those people who believed this.
Suddenly, it just turned into a “same day, same shit, same people” scenario! Just a cycle and a circle that seemed never-ending. Other people would come and go, but the main players stayed in it. Then things really started getting serious. People started calling the cops on one another, CPS, and their jobs and family. At this point, I had seen it was getting worse. I wanted nothing to do with that aspect of the drama, and many time in groups I was in I made sure to tell everyone. But people still insisted on blaming me for that. I do not believe in calling anything like that unless me and mine are in REAL danger and there is no resolve, or that I personally cannot find a resolution without violence.
As this kept going on, people wouldn’t only go after each other and their personal lives. It started to get to the point of attacking people by using their loved ones and children. It would just go on and on as even my own loved ones and children were attacked and put under a microscope. It caused a LOT of problems and hurt. For everyone, I love it wasn’t fair for them to get shit on as a result of my actions. Sadly peoples’ maturity levels plummeted, and they didn’t care who they involved or hurt.
One thing I can honestly say is this; I REALLY do try to find the good in everyone, but this has shown me not all people are good. Also in most situations, people do NOT like accountability, nor do they wish to take any. Being someone who does own their shit and admits to being wrong (even when I know I will get shit on for it), I expected the same from other people. I took for granted that people can be ruthless when it comes to different situations in life.
I also didn’t take into account some people are just lonely and have no life, so they have nothing but time to let it sit and fester. I have watched so many people go lower than low over the last year. One thing I have learned when you surround yourself with these kinds of people, it is contagious! So much so, you find yourself trying to out-do that person. I am both disgusted and embarrassed to say that even I got sucked into it. I became obsessed with trying to find any little bit of something I could on anyone to piss them off and hurt them. I have said and done things on YouTube and social media I never thought myself possible of doing to a person, no matter how much I didn’t like them.
This, however, doesn’t make it right nor is it a valid excuse. This is my reasoning, right or wrong. I just had so many people coming at me and those I loved, that it seemed like no matter how much I tried to move away from it, it just wouldn’t end. So instead of just ignoring it, like I should have done, I went all in! Something I seriously regret! It is too late to take it back. As a result, I lost my channel, caused relationship issues (luckily I am loved enough to be forgiven for this), and caused myself a LOT of stress and hardship I would have never experienced had I have just walked away from it. It was a hard lesson learned and an also humbling one, I will tell you that!
Which leads me to today! I have started to distance myself from drama and people related to it. Not because I think I am better than anyone, but because I see what it can do to a person. I know that it can turn you into a cruel, heartless person, with no morals or values. I really do believe you lose yourself, or at least, a part of yourself. I also realize your health declines when dealing with this amount of drama. I have also seen just how much time it takes! This takes away valuable time – time for relationships, family, making money, etc.! Life is short enough, we don’t get a lot of time compared to the grand spectrum of things, and to me, it seems pointless to waste it on people who, in reality, don’t matter!
So in conclusion, from here on out if I have an issue with a person, I am bringing it to them in private – as simple as that. If I feel like that isn’t a possibility, then I am just going to dissociate myself from them as it is not worth the stress and time it takes to partake in a smear campaign. So if you write me and I say I don’t want to be a part of it, I genuinely mean that. I don’t like the person I have become and hate the man in the mirror. I want everyone to like me, but at the end of the day, it is seriously unrealistic for me to believe that possible. So from here on out, I am just going to work on ME liking ME! That is that, and people can choose to like me for who I am, or they won’t like me at all! I am also no longer going after people for others, because if you cannot like me for me, then I see it as your loss! Friendships should not be based on what I can do for someone, but more so on if we make each other better people, by being around those people! I can only honestly say I feel that way with my kids and my 3 wives (YES 3 ;)). They encourage me to grow, and no matter how much I have fucked up and sometimes even hurt them by things I have said, they have ALWAYS had my back and wanted nothing more than love from me and wanted to make me happy! So for them, I am truly grateful! Now that I have written a novel, I will close out by saying this; I hope you all the best. I hope you all figure what really matters. If drama is all that matters, I feel sad for you. You will never really know who to love and trust as you will be too consumed trying to one-up the next person! Peace out, mahalo folks!